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Balls of Steel Episode 3: The Great American Bootista Bash
(The scene opens up to a nice view of Tuvalu, while the voice of Dean Ambrose can be heard) Dean: Last time on Total Drama Balls of Steel: Rocker was worried for the Plebs, believing that if they were to lose again, he would go next. Meanwhile, GO was having some serious issues from being deprived of roleplaying. At the challenge, the contestants had to go in rounds of eating disgusting delights. While the Plebs originally lost, Ultra was caught cheating after a bunch of the rocks fell out of his pants, which all you viewers know was planted there by a certain someone. *cough* Chip *cough*. And so in the end, Kikes wen to the elimination ceremony and it was Ultra who ended up getting hurled. With thirteen peeps left, who will take the hurl next? Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! Balls of Steel! Intro Plays (Team Pleb- Day 7) Rocker: We got lucky. Bat: No kidding, I nearly lost it for us. Rocker: Yeah but I bet had we gone to elimination you would have vote ME out anyways, huh? Bat: We don't know that. RJ: Actually, Rocker's right, we don't like him so we were gonna #Blindside him anyways. Just like on #Survivor! Rocker: If only I could wrap my hands around that ugly neck of yours! Bat: r00d! Ally: Guys, I don't like the looks that Heo guy gave me at the challenge the other day. And the way he ate that dog penis when they told him to imagine it was me he was eating, like, I just can't even! Rocker: Speaking of Heo, I wonder how the other teams are holding up. ---- (Team Pip- Day 7) (Rocky is seen watching porn inside the shelter as Toast watches also. Meanwhile Fiz is twerking in the water. Meta and Dark are looking in woods for some food) Toast: Dis is some gewd porn! Rocky: It sure is. Too bad everyone else here is too sensitive to watch the most beautiful thing to grace this entire planet! Fiz: Hey guys, I found a huge fish floating around me! (Rocky and Toast then look up to see a grey fin swimming around Fiz) Toast: Say, that looks a lot like a shark. Rocky: That's cus it is a shark... (Rocky and Toast then look at each other, then look back at Fiz standing in the water, then back at each other, before finally getting up and racing towards the ocean water) Toast: Fiz we coming to help you just stay there and don't get eaten! Rocky: My god this is Rocker's PI elimination all over again! (Rocky and Toast enter the ocean water and try to help Fiz, while Meta and Dark come back from their expedition in the woods) Rocky: Meta, Dark, help us! (Meta races into the water, and he, Rocky, Fiz, and Toast try to wrestle the shark, while Dark is just standing there on the shore, watching) Rocky: *with arms wrapped around shark, struggling* Dark, why aren't you helping us! Dark: Cus, I'm just to Max Goof to be fighting a shark. (Fiz then twerks in the shark's face while Toast furiously yells random swear words at it. But it isn't enough. So Meta runs back to the shelter, grabs the machete, tosses it to Rocky, Rocky then stabs it, eventually killing it) Rocky: *breathing heavily* Well.... That did it. Meta: Yeah, no kidding. Fiz: What do we do now? Toast: I say we eat this son of a bitch! Rocky: Say, that's not a bad idea. Dinner! (the entire team then celebrates) ---- (Team Kike- Day 7) (The team is eating left over Panda Express, except Heo who is daydreaming) Grass: *sigh* What now, Heo? Heo: Oh, it's nothing. Just, uh.... can't stop thinking about Ally, man. Grass: *rolls eyes* Get over it. She clearly has no interest in you. Besides, we have better things to worry about. Heo: I'm telling you man, I think she really digs me! She just has yet to show it. But don't worry, soon enough, I'll prove her my worthiness! Grass: Eh, good luck with that then. ---- Grass: *In Confessional* Okay, so Heo and I are in a tight alliance, and I've managed to get GO as our goat. So we have been holding the majority out here. The only person left to go is Chip, and the worst that can happen is that we lose again then Chip goes. Because I have a deep gut feeling that there will be some sort of team swap soon. Atleast I hope...... *end of confessional* Chip: *In Confessional* Okay, so I know that I'm on the outside of this team, and if we lose again, it's me who's going home. But don't worry. I have a plan at the next challenge that pretty much guaruntees one of the other teams to lose! You'll see. Just watch and learn. Heo: *In Confessional* Man, that girl Ally, I don't know, there's just... something special about her that I really like. My new goal while I'm here is to get her to go out with me! I won't give up, I promise! ---- (Immunity Challenge- Day 8) (The contestants are seen standing in front of a wrestling ring) Dean: Okay, so, in the first challenge, you guys hd to build a shelter, then you guys had to eat gross foods. But today is gonna be something different. I know you guys have been waiting for something physical, and so today is your lucky day! But before I explain what your going to be doing, let me introduce you to the special guest of this challenge.... (A mysterious figure steps out next to Dean Ambrose) Dean: Ladies and gentlefucks, please welcome: BOOTISTA- Err, I mean Batista! Everyone: *shocked* Batista: DEAL WITH IT! Rocky: What is skinny jeans doing here!? Dean: You see, for today's challenge, you must try to beat Batista via pinfall or submission. When somone gets a fall on him, they win immunity for their team. First two teams to score a pinfall or make Batista tap out, wins immunity, losers of course will go to the elimination ceremony. And I can just tell, this is gonna be brutal! Hahaha! RJ: But, like, this is nothing like what they did on #Survivor! Dean: That's cus this isn't Survivor, you stupid dope! Also, I forgot to add that this is for reward too. As you may know, 4th of July is right around the corner so....... The team that wins immunity first will also get to enjoy a box of fireworks that they can light up at their camp tonight. Worth playing for? Everyone: NO! Dean: Too bad. Now let's get to the challenge, shall we? Your challenge begins.......... NOW! (The thirteen contestants all make their move, as they start sliding into the ring one-by-one as Batista awaits them. Toast is the first to enter the ring, but Batista immediately clotheslines him back out. Grass slides in and charges at Batista, but Batista gets out of the way, grabs Grass by the back of the head, and tosses him out the other side. RJ then slides into the ring throwing DVD copies of Survivor: Redemption Island at Batista, but Batista just smashes them, and eventually gets a hold of RJ, and tosses him into one of the corners. Fiz then gets into the ring and tries to twerk in front of Batista, hoping it will get him a pinfall, but Batista grabs Fiz and tosses him into the same corner as RJ, now both Fiz and RJ are lined up against the turnbuckle, as Batista goes into the opposite corner, and charges at RJ and Fiz, spearing them in the corner, tearing them both in half) (Meanwhile, Rocky and Meta are on the outside, searching for weapons under the ring. They then pull out a wooden table and set it up. Heo then walks into the ring, as he winks at Ally, who then looks away in disgust. Heo, trying to impress Ally, then walks smoothly towards Batista with a weird smirk on his face. Heo commands Batista to just lay down and let him pin him, offering to give him 2 dollars in advanced. Batista looks around, then smacks the two dollars out of Heo's hand and delivers a ferocious spinebuster onto Heo, nearly breaking every bone in his body in the process. Heo is now laid out on the ring mat, out cold. While Batista looks down on Heo's corpse, Bat sneaks up from behind and jumps onto Batista's back, while trying to choke him out, Batista quickly is able to grab Bat and pull him off onto the mat. Bat then tries to crawl away while begging Batista for mercy, but Batista lifts Bat to his feet, to Bat's surprise. But then Batista kicks Bat in the gut, lifts him up for a powerbomb position, and jacknife powerbomb's Bat to the outside, causing Bat to go right through the table that Meta and Rocky had set up earlier.) Dean: Ooooohhhh! That's gonna raise our hospital bills for sure! (Chip then gets in the ring) Chip: This challenge is so stupid. I mean who cares about this "Batista" guy anywa- (Batista knocks out Chip with a hard punch to the jaw) Batista: DEAL WITH IT! (Rocky and Grass enter the ring with steel chairs, and deliver the con-chair-to, aka two steel chairs smashing the head of Batista at once. Causing Batista to get to his knees, then as he gets back to his feet, Rocky and Grass charge again with their chairs, but Batista ducks at the last second, causing their chairs to hit each other, hurting their hands. Batista then clotheslines Rocky out of the ring, and when he turns around, Grass tries to deliver an RKO, but Batista pushes him off, and then does the Batista Bomb onto Grass) Dean: Uh, Dark, why aren't you in there helping your teammates? Dark: Cus, I'm just too Max Goof to be wrestling. (Batista, from inside the ring, reaches out and grabs Dark by the hair and pulls him into the ring) Batista: Oh yeah!? Well then. let's see of your too Max Goof for THIS! (Batista then lifts Dark up in a military press lift position, walks towards the other side, and throws Dark outside the ring, causing him to go flying and land through the Spanish Announce table) Batista: *singing* I walk a mile in these skinny jeans! (Rocker gets in the ring) Rocker: It's time to put this bitch to rest! (Batista then bitchslaps Rocker, and Rocker doesn't take it so well) Rocker: ..... Oh Hell.... to the... no! Dis motherfucker! Batista: What are you gonna do about it? Cry like a bitch!? (Rocker then puts on his sunglasses, as he transforms into wearing a leather trench coat and black boots) Batista: WTF! Rocker: Time to Keanu Reeves this bitch! (Rocker then starts beating the shit out of Batista, using every single Godding move he knows, before wrapping Batista into a ball, stretching him) Batista: Ah! Okay Okay! I tap out I tap out!!!!! (Ding! Ding! Ding!) Dean: And with that, Team Pleb wins immunity and reward! It's about time, too! (Rocker then unrolls Batista back to normal, as he goes back into his normal clothes and exits the ring to celebrate with Ally and RJ, meanwhile, Roman Reigns comes out with a stretcher, then picks up Bat's lifeless corpse and lays it out onto the stretcher and rolls him on out) (Meanwhile, Batista is slowly recovering, as he is halfway lying down on the mat, GO is on the outside, trying to hand Batista an iPad) GO: WE RP NOW! Batista: Beat it, kid! GO: I SAID WE RP NOW! Batista: I said: Fuck off! (Batista then reaches his hand out and smacks the iPad out of GO's hands. GO at first looks at the iPad flying way out in awe, then his eyes turn red) (Rocky is now back in the ring, this time with a steel pipe in his hands, as he stalls, waiting for Batista to get up and turn around) Rocky: C'mon Bootista! Get up! So that way I can do what I've always been wanting to do since the Royal Rumble! (Chip is on the outside still recovering from that knockout punch earlier) ---- Chip: *In Confessional* As soon as I saw Rocky with that pipe, I knew right away I'd be going home if I didn't do something, soooooo. I did the obvious and stopped him! ---- (Chip, who is on the outside, grabs Rocky's foot while he is waiting. Rocky tries to get Chip off, but Chip won't let go. Toast then finally comes out of left field and tackles Chip, causing him to let go of Rocky's foot. But just as Rocky turns around, BAM! Batista delivers a spear, causing Rocky to go flying across the ring) Batista: Didn't think so, bub! (Just as Batista gets up after laying Rocky out, GO is seen charging at him) GO: WE! RP! ..... NOOOOOOWWW!! (GO crashes into Batista, causing Batista to go flying high up in the air) Batista: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! (as Batista falls back down, GO catches him, only to deliver the Godplay of Doom, which means GO, while holding Batista, goes flying 50 feet into the air, spins him around, then slams him back down onto the ring mat, causing the entire area to go rumbling Then, as the smoke begins to clear out, GO is seen standing high and mighty, with his foot over a laid out Batista as he is huffing and puffing as the referee begins to count) Referee: One! .................... Two! ........................................ Three! (Ding! Ding! Ding!) Dean: And Team Kike wins second place immunity! (GO's fellow team members enter the ring to celebrate with him) Grass: GO, as much as we hate you, you won this challenge for us, so because of that, the four of us will RP tonight! (Team Pleb and Team Kike then proceed to leave the area as they celebrate, meanwhile, Team Pip is now in the ring, as Rocky begins to recover) Rocky: Aahh. *hisses* I feel like I just got hit by a bus. Someone or something grabbed onto my foot and cost us the challenge... hmmmm. Oh yeah, now I remember! Chip! (Rocky then looks out the ring, as Chip looks back and taunts him before he continues to walk with his team) Rocky: That son of a bitch... Dean: Well Team Pip, I got nothing for ya. I'll see you tomorrow at the elimination ceremony! ---- Rocky: *In Confessional* Obviously Fiz is going home for being absolutely no help! Fiz: *In Confessional* I vote for Rocky since I think he doesn't appreciate my amazing twerking skills! Dark: *In Confessional* I voted for Toast just to mock him. Toast: *In Confessional* My vote is for Dark, since he's getting on my nerves, that son of a bitch! Meta: *In Confessional* Well, this vote was a pretty tough one. But I'm doing what will help benefit ME to win this, so I voted for.. *cuts off* ---- (Elimination Ceremony- Night 9) Dean: Alright, well, the votes are in! And tonight, I'll be handing out portraits of yours truly! So when I call your name, you are safe and will receive a Dean Ambrose portrait. The first person safe with no votes casted against them is....... Meta! *tosses portrait to Meta* Meta: Sweet! Dean: Next safe with only one vote each is..... Dark and Toast! *tosses portraits* And now our bottom two: Fiz and Rocky. Fiz, your on the chopping block for being absolutely annoying as well as sucking in the challenge. Rocky, your on the chopping block for costing your team the victory! And now, the final portrait goes to.......... ....................... ................................................ ......................... ........... .................................................................. ............................................................................... . ....................................................................................... ............................................................... ................................................................... ............................. ......................................................................... .................................................................................Fiz! *tosses portrait to Fiz* Fiz: Yay me! Rocky: WHAT!? Is this some kind of a joke!? Dean: Nope! Rocky: There has to be some sort of mistake. I know for a fact that nobody other than Fiz voted for me, right guys? (Dark and Toast shrug while Meta looks away and whistles) Rocky: Unbelievable! You guys just voted out your strongest member! Dean: Rocky, the Hurl of Shame awaits! (Scene cuts to Rocky sitting on a giant catapult as his team watches on) Dean: Any last words? Rocky: Kiss my ass! Dean: How endearing. Reigns, release him! (Roman Reigns then pulls the lever, launching Rocky) Rocky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (Rocky then disappears into the night sky) Dean: And with that, we are at the Final 12! Will Team Pip be able to still do well in challenges? What does this mean for the Plebs? And will Heo ever catch a break with Ally? Find out next time on: Total! Drama! Balls of Steel! (Episode Ends)